Wrapping it up here

So, it's my last day in Thailand. Tomorrow at this time, I'll be in the Hong Kong Airport, spending down/exchanging the $220 HKD I inexplicably have. My bike is packed and I'm pretty much ready to go. I'm definitely ready to throw away the one pair of shoes I brought with me; they smell disgusting.  I'm staying in Silom, which is boring, but a. close to the shop that packed my bike for me and b. close to public transportation. It lacks backpackers, which is a plus.

The last couple of days in Chiang Mai were uneventful. I failed at shopping, and sort of failed at tourism. The touristic-industrial complex is strong in CM, and that made it less fun to take treks/tours/whatever. The one tour I did involved, among other thing, a visit to a "Karen Long-Neck Village."  Some Karen women (they're
Burmese refugees) used to wear multiple brass rings around their necks, making them appear elongated. Now, they live in shitty little touristic villages, have revived the practice to attract tourists. Seeing youngish girls with brass coils around their necks, wearing beauty queen make-up, and selling crappy tchotchkes was probably a low point of the trip.

I decided against visiting the tiger cubs after I rode past Tiger Kingdom and saw loads of tour buses in the parking lot.

While I failed in my primary objective of, you know, riding my bicycle through Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand, I did succeed in my secondary objectives of riding an elephant (meh) and eating durian (yum!) One is, by the way, explicitly prohibited from bringing durian into the metro.

A friend with whom I used to travel would make a list of her ten favorite things at the end of her trips. I love that idea.

Here's mine, in no particular order (I'm not including the amazingly cool people I met along the way):
The little kids in the villages along the Mekong River, waving manically and shrieking, "hello!!"
The Angkor temples
Pork and pumpkin larb at Makphet restaurant in Vientiane
My first sunset over the Mekong, in Kampong Cham
Wandering through the back streets in Luang Prabang
The first twenty minutes of bicycling in Cambodia, when I was filled with optimism
Noodle/chickpea gruel breakfast in Mae Hon Song
Watching Muay Thai on Channel 7 with a Lao family in Nong Kwiah
Bicycling through the rice paddies between Chiang Kong and Meng Rai.
Slow boat from Luang Prabang to Huay Xai

I'll be in NYC Tuesday night. My last three weeks of summer are already filling up with professional development, co-planning, regents scoring, socializing.

XOXOXO

Rain!! (pictures)

So, because I was somewhat disorganized, I ended up in Thailand with two weeks left to my trip, when I really only wanted to spend a week here, to shop and get a pedicure and eat some tasty food.

I've ridden, and loved, motorcycles for years, although don't currently have one because it's not fun to ride in NYC, and it IS scary. (Mom, you're gonna HATE this post--you might want to stop reading now.) And, for some years, I've wanted to do a moto tour of  SE Asia, but never pursued it because a. it seemed to be really expensive, and b. moto companies don't seem to offer their expensive tours during the summer, ie, monsoon season.

However, it is possible to rent motorcycles in Chiang Mai. And, north Thailand has some amazing roads. SO... I rented a Honda Phantom ($20/day, incl insurance) and took off for four days around the Mae Hon Song Loop. (Mae Hon Song is the most remote and mountainous province in Thailand. It abuts Myannmar, and has a significant Shan population.)  The Honda Phantom is a 198cc Thai-made single cylinder cruiser. It's a very silly little bike, and has roughly the same power as a lawn mover.

Day One: The road to Pai is famous for it's insanity. Roughly 100 kilometers, and 764 curves, many of them hairpin. The road goes through the mountains, and has ridiculously steep inclines. This would have been tremendous fun on a real motorcycle (I could have rented a CBR 250!) on a day that wasn't raining. However, it WAS raining (I rode through rainclouds) and chilly. I'm a dumbass, so hadn't considered the possibility that it might rain. Therefore, I did this ride in a t-shirt. I spent the night in Pai, which is a cool little tourist town. I almost stayed for a few days, but I had A Mission.

Typical picture from Day One:

Day Two: The road to Mae Hong Son is not as twisty as the road to Pai. It does, however go through rain clouds. The Nice Man at my hotel suggested I buy some rain gear, but I'm a HUGE dumbass, and didn't listen to him. Here I am on Day Two, in front of what is probably a lovely vista, but who the hell knows.... What a fun time I was having!!!

I stopped in Soppong and bought a rain coat, and about ten kilometers later, it stopped raining. I also ate some revelatory noodles, which were definitely among the top five things I've eaten on this trip. All in all, a good day, even if it ended with my spending the night in Mae Hong Son. which is sort of a pit (but you can buy Bianchi carbon bike frames at the Internet shop!)

I was excited to get back on the road, until I had breakfast at the morning market. Noodle soup, thickened with chickpea flower, with chickpea fritters alongside. I considered staying in town to eat them again, but I had only four days for this ride, and had to keep moving. I memorialized them in a picture, of course. Here it is: the best breakfast of this trip, and possibly of my entire life.(Just spent a few minutes googling them, and found nothing.) The chickpea fritters--Thai pannelle, really--were fresh out of the fryer and served with dipping sauce. I should have had a second bowl.

Day three, no rain. Day four, more rain. I wish I'd organized myself better.  That ride really wanted seven or eight days, so that I could visit the hill tribe villages, waterfalls, caves, etc... I am DETERMINED to come back to north Thailand, and spend four or five weeks really checking things out.

I have three days in Chiang Mai, then I travel to Bangkok. Two days in Bangkok, then home. I still have some time!!

This computer is fast, so will take advantage and post some more photos from moto tour.

I was extremely optimistic about Thai halal spicy fish balls, but they were vile. 

Shan Burmese Buddhist temple someplace between Pai and Mae Hong Son. 

This monk was surrounded by cats. Temple did not smell great.

Gigantic wicker Buddha

Holy crap, this was a beautiful ride.

 So, on the bicycle vs. motorcycle touring question: People smile at bicycle tourists more than they smile at moto tourists. And, bicycling definitely gave me a sense of accomplishment that motorcycling doesn't. But I got to see more on the motorcycle, and it's just generally more fun. Also, I have way more motorcycle experience than I do bicycle experience, and I trust motorcycles more than bicycles. Eh...

Still on the agenda: I'm going to hang out with some tigers, and maybe check out some elephants. Also, I'm going to eat A LOT  of mango with sticky rice.

XOXOXO

Chiang Rai!

So, when I last wrote, I was in Luang Prabang, where it might be argued I was not making the best of my time--mostly reading, taking walks, and eating baguettes.Now, I'm in Chiang Rai. I have no tourist map, guide, and little idea of what there is to do or see here. I'll figure it out--no worries!!

Here are a list of things I've done since then the last time I posted:

1. I went to Nong Kwiah (sp?), a tiny, charmless, village about three hours out of Luang Prabang. It rained. I chilled out on the hammock in front of my $7 bungalow, watched Muay Thai, and spent an evening drinking with some other travelers. Also, I looked at chickens. Lao chickens are very fast.

Here's the view from my hammock. It was very foggy and rainy.

2. I took a two-day "luxury cruise" from Luang Prabang to Houay Xai (sp?) on the Lao border. Good the boat was covered because it rained! With the exception of a young European couple who didn't talk to anyone, and couldn't keep their hands off each other (poor taste anywhere, but especially poor taste in SE Asia) and left after one day, everyone was substantially older than me. There was a pack of surprisingly unhealthy-appearing pack of Australians doing a 2-week food tour of Lao and Thailand (5k!!) and their charming guide. There were two not-affiliated-with-the-food-tour, charming, Australian women with confusingly similar names. There was an English IT professional who actually used the word "chap" with no trace of self-consciousness. The boat was pleasant, food meh but fancy, the lodge where we stayed overnight somewhat over-the-top, in a fancy eco-lodge sort of way. I took pictures for my mom, but am not going to post them. We made several stops along the way, at some poor villages, one Lao and Khmu, the other Hmong. The contrast was extreme. (I was going to upload more pics, but computer very slow.) As our guide droned on about animistic and educational practices of the Hmong villagers (most of my fellow passengers ignored him and took photos of the children who had surrounded us), tree boys came over, holding small birds. The guide took one, explained that the children were going to eat the birds, and casually broke it's neck before handing it back to the child (who immediately began plucking it). Very dramatic!! We all looked suspiciously at the other boys and their birds, hoping they wouldn't slaughter them in front of us. One of the Australians demanded that they let the birds go, but she was ignored.

3. I rode from Chiang Kong (Thai border) to Chiang Rai over two days, with a night in the completely untouristy Meng Rai. Two days of fortunately overcast skies, reasonable distances (70 km and 50 km) and LOTS of rice paddies.   Meng Rai was the first place I believe, that I was actually charged local prices for food at the market. Dumplings for 10 baht, fried pork for 10 baht, watermelon and mystery food in banana leaf for 10 baht. Then, a handful of longans off the tree, from the lovely proprietess of my guesthouse. 

Regarding the mystery food steamed in banana leaf, I opened it and thought it looked like zucchini (which I thought odd, but whatever). You can imagine my shock when it turned out to be fish (bone-in, natch).

I'm done with the biking part of the ride, other than day trips. I'll get up to some deviltry, but have not yet determined what kind. Actually, I have, but I'M NOT TELLING YET.

Two more weeks!!

XOXOX

Moving on now...

So, I fell out of love with my bicycle when making an unsuccessful attempt at leaving Vientiane--flat tire and busted cable within 15 minute time span. Apparently, in some respects, I am not particularly resilient. I need to work on this.

So, yesterday's plan was to rekindle the romance with the bike by taking a tour. Easy ride, 30 km roundtrip to Tad Sae Falls.

Well...

Before I begin writing about the tour, I'm going to make a sweeping generalization about Lao people. There are cultures where its considered uncouth to disagree with someone, or tell them they're wrong. When I signed up for the tour, I informed the guide that I had my own bike, not a mountain bike, but a touring bike, and I wanted to use my bike instead of paying to rent one. He didn't tell me that this was an idiotic idea, although he would have been TOTALLY justified in doing so. 

We were to meet at Delilah Restaurant at 8:30 AM. There were three of us on the tour: Fabrizio, an Italian whose hairline, beard, and eyebrows grew together in a disturbing way (if ever there was a man who needed a Dominican barber, it's Fabrizio), his giggly Asian flip-flop wearing girlfriend and myself. Fabrizio and I talked about the ride a bit--he thought it would be paved and easy, I thought it would be pretty muddy. He insisted, "Oh, no! They told me the road was paved!"

Six kilometers into the trip, we hit the mud. And, seven kilometers into the trip, we hit the road construction. Good times!  We rode through mud, across rocks, walked our bikes through deep puddles, looked at the ugly orange mud gashes in the "country-side." I slid, sweated, fell over, and cursed the guide who didn't tell me I was an idiot for not renting a mountain bike.  

We all got filthy (I, at least, had fenders, which needed to be cleaned out every ten minutes or so).

At one point, I looked over, and noticed Fabrizio taking pictures of me. I approached him.
"You taking pictures or me?"
"Uh, yes."
"Did you ask me before you took them?"
"No."
"It's generally considered rude to take pictures of someone without asking their permission. Delete them."
"(Gulp) All of them?"
"Yes. ALL of them."

I have no idea if he actually did. I'm pretty sure he didn't take any more pictures of me, though. About thirty seconds after he "deleted" the pictures, I asked our guide to take one of me. Here I am, tres sportif and tres sale.

Rocks, rocks, rocks, mud, mud, mud, hills, hills, hills. We finally made it to the Nam Khan River, where we were to put our bikes on a boat and head up to Tad Sae Falls. I dumped my bike in the river to clean some of the mud off, and sort of wanted to leave it there.

Six people, five bikes, heading up the river on a tiny speedboat. Kind of scary. Tad Sae Falls were meh. The Italians ziplined and fed elephants. I read the New York Times.

I forgot to mention! It was raining!! The whole day!!!  Better than hot and sunny, I guess.

Yay!!! The ride back was almost entirely paved!! Boo!! There was a five km incline that almost killed me! I wanted to cry and vomit, but kept it to a pathetic whimper.

My big takeaway: I do not like riding in Laos, and may not actually like bike touring. Live and learn, as my brother would say. I'll do some riding in Thailand--through the rice paddies between Chiang Khong and Chiang Rai. But in Laos, no. Because really, when I think about it, I don't really want to ride 90 km of rolling hills in 80% humidity, to spend the night in a $4 guesthouse with a squat toilet, a cold bucket shower, and a mosquito infestation.

I'm getting soft in my old age. Maybe I'll try another bike tour next summer, but in Europe.

Heading out of Luang Prabang tomorrow--up to Nong Khiaw (sp?) for two days, then coming back down here, and taking a two-day luxury slowboat (cheap price: normally $465, doing for $190) down the Mekong, to the border.

In non-bike related news: Today for lunch, I went to one of the nicer restaurants in LP. I'd seen so many frogs for sale at the markets, I thought I should eat some. So, I ordered the "bone-in stir-fried frog with chilis and onions." It was almost all chili and onion, and very little, very bony, frog. Here's a picture of  little frog feet sticking out of my lunch. They're towards the center, resting on a bit of onion.

And, just to end with a picture of something cool, because it's not all mud, rocks, and insufficient portions of frog: Yesteday I visited, via slow boat, the Pak Ou Caves, a Buddhist shrine about 25 km out of Luang Prabang. Basically, thousands of Buddha figures in a cave. Very atmospheric.

Luang Prabang (incl pics)

There comes a time in every trip where I have a little meltdown. "This sucks! What am I doing? Why aren't I in Brooklyn, having pancakes at Cafe Luluc?" This summer, my meltdown was exacerbated by my utter failure as a bicycle tourist. Being in Luang Prabang makes it a little worse, as I meet ACTUAL bike tourists, who aren't just putting their bikes on buses and using them for dinky little 30-40 km rides. They're always very impressed by my setup, which makes the shame a little deeper. The self-pity spiral might still be going if I didn't have a little conversation in my head with my meanest friend, The Rugby Player, who I could hear mocking me, "Oh, poor Frances, she's in the most beautiful part of touristed Laos, eating baguettes in cafes overlooking the Mekong, and taking lovely walks. POOR FRANCES!  Your life SUCKS." Having succeeded in making myself feel like a whinging jerk, I pulled myself out of it.

While I've failed as a bicycle tourist, I'm succeeding at being a chatty solo tourist who, on three different occasions, made dinner plans with strangers (excuse me, with friends I hadn't met yet). I'm also succeeding in not shopping--the bike is a fantastic deterrent.

I have some plans involving the bike, but I won't bother sharing them until they've been implemented.

Luang Prabang is a city of extremes--French colonial architecture in the city, tin shacks and rocky (scared for my tires!) dirt roads three kilometers out. The shops sell silk scarves and silver bowls; at the morning market I saw a woman selling two small heaps of tamarind and three frogs.

Here are some wats, monks, grilled frogs, and a lovely water view.  I've included them because, otherwise, this was a boring blog post.

o hai! here are some pictures!!1!

Bolaven Plateau.

Villager, working at some weird tourist village where people from nine or ten different (picturesque, bright clothes-wearing) villages do stuff and ignore the tourists. Felt like human zoo. Did not like the place although I do like this picture, and perhaps one day the shame of taking it will pass.

Cutest kid in Laos (bolaven Plateau), working it for the camera.

Cutest child in Laos, using his zoom function.

Sunset over the Mekong in Kratie, Cambodia

Ooooh, pretty!!! Heading towards Chhlong, Cambodia.

Chili roasted crickets at the bus station market in Skoun, Cambodia.

Peeled frogs for sale at the Central Market. I feel like I should have something clever to say, but I don't. Sorry.

The chicken head and chicken foot stand at the Central Market in Phnom Penh. 

Gaudy temple at the top of a hill in Phnom Penh. I dumped the Cambodia guidebook, and am too lazy to look online to see which one it is. 

Angkor Wat? Possibly. Definitely one of the Angkor temples. I should know which one it is. Meh.

Slow boat from Battambang to Siem Reap.

Slow boat from Battambang to Siem Reap.

Vientiane!

Greetings from Vientiane!!

Vientiane is a lovely city, full of French colonial architecture, good coffee and CYCLISTS. Just spent some time chatting with a few. I met a Japanese guy who is taking three months to ride from Shanghai to Singapore; he was taking his bike apart and cleaning it, and generally looking highly competent.  The others, a Chinese guy with some kind of pale chubby north European woman. They had backpacks, no gear, regular clothing, bikes that I associate with Central American food delivery guys (don't know how else to describe them--they bought them in Luang Prabang for $200 each, which they thought quite expensive). No proper bags, puffy saddles, Tevas--they had just ridden down from Luang Prabang and planned to go to Cambodia. At them moment, I'm full of "If she can do it, I can do it!" but we'll see if I want to.

It's also the hottest time of the day, which is why I'm kickin it in an AC internet cafe. Soon, I will go visit the Lao National Museum (history of the revolution, I believe), and a wat or two. Also, lunch.

I like it here.

But how did I get to Vientiane?

Yesterday I discovered a new, awful, way of travel: the Lao VIP sleeper bus.  Normally, I can sleep on buses, even fairly uncomfortable ones with sagging, hard seats. But the Lao VIP sleeper bus is different. There are two rows of twin beds on either side of the bus. There is about two feet of clearance between the bed and the ceiling (or the bed and the bed above). Sitting up is not an option (10-hour ride). This would not be so bad, except for X  things: 1. you have to SHARE the bed (in my case, with a thankfully tiny Lao woman who had very sharp knees), 2. the road is very, very bumpy, 3. they turn out the lights at 8:15PM, so one can't read, and 4. the toilet situation is bleak.

Although, as my grandmother would have said, I "took care of myself" before getting on the bus, I had to pee about 45 minutes into the trip. For some reason, maybe the claustrophobia or the dark or the bumpy road or the length of the journey or whatever, it didn't occur to me that there was a toilet on the bus. So, while everyone else seemed to go into hibernation, I went into Monkey Mind. "Ohmygod, I think I have to pee! Do I have to pee?! How can I have to pee? Are we there yet? Can I make it without peeing? Will they stop the bus for me? Do I really have to pee, or am I just nervous because I might have to pee later and that's making me think I have to pee?  Maybe I don't have to pee, and it's a tumor! No, I really have to pee! Crap! Eight more hours! Where am I gonna pee? Does anyone else have to pee?"  etc.....  I kept trying to fall asleep, but I really don't like touching people while I'm sleeping, and I was squashed into the window with the Lao woman's bony little knee in my thigh. Plus, brain freaking out about having to pee. Listening to music (Bon Iver and Jay-Z) didn't help, but did make me homesick. At 1:30 in the morning (yes, this went on for FIVE HOURS), I saw a man get out of his bed (which he was NOT sharing) and go to the back of the bus. "Oh!" I realized, "There's a toilet on the bus! I'm a dumbass!!" My brain and bladder immediately calmed down. Eventually, I went to the toilet (filthy, squat, glad I brought toilet paper, had a moment of wishing I had some Purell), found a temporarily empty bed (bus employee) and slept for about two hours. He eventually kicked me out of his bed, and I returned to my original bed, and my disappointed companion.
We arrived in Vientiane at 6:30 AM, and I eventually made my way to the guest housey part of town, where I decided that I deserved a $35 room for a night. And a nap.


For the record, I have had lots of time sightseeing, hanging out with other travelers, eating tasty food, taking pleasant bicycle rides, but those don't make for good stories, so I'm not going to share them.

I will add this, primarily for the edification of Lou Garcia: on a tour of the Bolaven Plateau, the guide squashed some fire ants between his fingers and ate them.

I'll post some pics before I leave Vientiane, but I don't have cable on me, so will wait until tomorrow.

XOXOXO